Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Being a mother...


Being a mother makes you say "stop blowing bubbles in your milk" for no apparent reason whatsoever. Milk bubbles are generally harmless...they seldom make a mess, they cause no physical damage, so why is it mandated that children must refrain from this activity? Why does it annoy me so when they blow bubbles in their milk when I secretly still do it when no one is watching?

Being a mother makes you loose all sense of privacy...especially if you have a child whose greatest anxiety is having to be alone, causing her to set up shop on the side of the bathtub just so she can talk to you while you shower. "Honey, please let mommy shower in peace." "Oh, I will mom. I won't talk to you...I'll just watch you."
Being a mother gives you patience you didn't know you had when your child flips over her bowl of cereal or spills her drink for the 3rd time that day.

Being a mother gives you the ability to translate phrases like "tooby too banbay" (scooby doo bandaid), "I had it first!" (I really wanted it but she was playing with it, so I'll use this manipulation tactic to see if mom will intervene and give it to me.) and "I (sob) no (sob) wanna (sob) go (sob) night-night (sob)" (Why in the world did you wait this long to put me in bed, woman? You see I'm clearly a blubbering mess now.).
Being a mother gives you the responsibility to explain why we do not talk about the corn we found in the toilet bowl as we are all eating dinner and why parents can say "you need to work on your attitude today" while young children are forbidden to make such remarks back to them...especially if said parent really does have an attitude problem that day. Being a mother makes you explain answers to questions such as: Why does that woman have so many wrinkles? (Her kids probably gave them to her, sweetie.) Is that person over there a man or a woman? (Sorry, hun, I can't tell either.) Why does daddy let me climb on things at the playground that you won't let me climb? (Because your daddy doesn't want you to grow up to be a sissy and mommy just knows that you will fall and break your leg, thus preventing you from being able to shower with a cast on and giving you the life-long reputation of being the stinky kid. I only care about your emotional well-being, sweetheart.) and Why is the sky blue? (Well, there are millions of little particles that...aw, you don't care about that stuff yet...because God wanted it to be blue.)
Being a mother is truly one of the most exhausting and satisfying jobs around...I wouldn't trade it for anything.

10 comments:

Christine on April 23, 2008 at 2:37 PM said...

Amen!!

leigh on April 23, 2008 at 4:49 PM said...

Too funny, before I clicked your comment section, I said "Amen". And look what was already here when I got here!

Jill Chandler on April 23, 2008 at 5:35 PM said...

Thanks! I needed that reminder today! :)

Anonymous said...

I said the same thing "Amen". You always put everything into words so perfectly.

Love Ya,
Beth

Tara on April 23, 2008 at 7:12 PM said...

The sentence after the last picture says it all!

Did Jay let Emma dress herself again? HA! Love it!

Danielle on April 24, 2008 at 8:53 AM said...

As always Amber well stated...

Doris on April 24, 2008 at 1:07 PM said...

Oh my word. Your photography continues to amaze me (as does your wit). That is the cutest picture of Emma!

:)

momof2princesses on April 24, 2008 at 8:45 PM said...

Great pictures! And I love your humor & wit! Makes my day better!

Candace said...

Loved this Amber, esp. the corn in the toilet bowl since I remember making a very similar remark to my mom about 20 years ago.

Merrie on May 7, 2008 at 6:32 PM said...

I love what you wrote here, but you totally had me at the blowing bubbles bit. JUST this weekend, I found myself policing my kids, along with my own mother, as they blew bubbles in their milk. I too was wondering why I made such a big deal, and yet it was automatic. I'm now determined to never complain about it again! But is that even possible?
Great blog!

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