I had my 6 week post-partum check-up with my OB yesterday...which means that my little man is already 6 weeks old. Hard to believe. It was really great to see my doctor since we had been through so much with her through my pregnancy with Nathan...she has been such a blessing to us in so many ways over the past 6 months, and I am truly thankful for this woman as my doctor. For those of you who may be new to our life's journal (a much more sophisticated word than "blog"), when I was pregnant with Nate, he had 2 markers for a genetic abnormality that is usually indicative of Down Syndrome. Because of this, we have not been shocked regarding the tests they are having to run on him due to his current symptoms...saddened, but not shocked.
When Nathan was born with no signs of having Down Syndrome, we were all delighted that this trial seemed to be at it's end. So, when I had to tell my OB of Nathan's current situation, she was evidently saddened and concerned for us. She was very sweet and helpful in our conversation, but she did say something that had me pondering on my drive home. She said very sincerely, "It's just not fair for you and Jay."
Honestly, I have never viewed this situation as being "not fair". When I see that phrase, I am usually taken back to my childhood when the times that I would experiment by using those two words would quickly be reprimanded with "Well, life's not fair." And it's true. Life's not fair. But we have never been promised fairness.
When I was a teenager, I wanted so badly to catch a glimpse of my life in the future. Who was my husband? How many children did we have? Where did we live? Was I happy? Was I healthy? Oh, life would be so much easier if I just knew what to expect. After a little "wishing" that I could see my future, I soon realized that if I knew what lie ahead of me for the rest of my life, I would no longer rely on the Lord for guidance and wisdom in the decisions and circumstances that I would face along the way. I would no longer be faithful.
It's that same thing with the fairness of life. If life were the same for everyone...if it were fair, we would no longer look to the Lord to guide us; we would no longer praise and thank him for his mercy, we would no longer rely on him for strength to get through everyday trials. We would no longer have the relationship we are meant to have with our God. We would immediately just give ourselves credit and ownership of our accomplishments. If life were fair, the sweetness of heaven...of living with Christ...would vanish entirely. We would no longer desire a life with our Heavenly Father.
So, no, life isn't fair. We have a child who could possibly have a life-long disability; our neighbor lost his wife to breast cancer a few months ago; someone else may be having marital problems; another may have financial difficulties, and another may have trouble conceiving a child. All of God's children have daily trials they are facing, but doesn't that make the thought of heaven that much sweeter? Where we will live for eternity in complete bliss and happiness with our God...without the trials of life. What an incredible thought!
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33