My dearest Nathan,
I just fed you the last bottle of the evening, kissed your squishy cheek and laid you back down in your crib as you slept. I enjoy these times...the times when I can sit and feed you. When you are enjoying your bottle, you take your hands and put them in my mouth. Or you run your fingers through my hair and then hold on to a handful of strands for a while. Sometimes when I look down at you, you give me a smile that causes you to stop eating for a brief few seconds. I see your eyes narrow and point up at the ends, and there is always a special glint inside your eyes. I love to see you smile. It warms my heart like you can't imagine every time I see it.
I have enjoyed this month with you, my darling boy. You're personality is really coming alive right now, and I love seeing the little man you are becoming. You love your mama, that's for sure. And I have to tell you that I am secretly so glad that you are currently a full-blown mama's boy. You will always reach out for others to pick you up and hold you, but as soon as you see me near, you reach your arms to be near to me. I love that. I just can't help but snuggle your head under my chin when you are in my arms. I can't quite explain to you how my heart feels in those moments, but there is such a sense of contentment that overwhelms me each time I hold you.After being on another reflux med for over a week due to you waking up screaming and in clear pain every hour or so each night, you slept from 11:30-6:30 for the first time in months last night. You have only slept through the night twice in your little life, so you sleeping for 7 hours last night delighted me to no end this morning. I truly hope that the additional medications will help you out and cause you to sleep like that more often.
You have really started playing with your sisters this month, and you love them both to pieces. Your favorite is Abby right now because she thinks the world of you and spends almost every bit of your waking moments playing with you. She truly loves you so much and tries everything in her power to make you laugh, smile, and pay attention to her. Because of this, you often crawl up to her and lay your head in her lap as she watches TV...either as a sign of affection or you wanting more attention.
Your relationship with Emma is still budding, as she has just recently seemed to be aware that you are indeed alive. HA! She plays with you and asks you questions, and you always respond by pulling her hair or laying on her...both of which she hates. But within the past month, I have seen a spark in your relationship with Emma. She now pays extra attention to you and talks to you like you are her best friend in the entire world...and you often respond to her with a smile, which makes her more happy that I can convey. She loves you Nate...I hope you always know that.
I still love comparing what you are doing to what the girls did. You definitely LOVE to bang whatever toy you have on the ground, against the wall, or against either of your sister's heads. You love balls. I have gathered all of our balls and put them in one basket for you, and you will routinely empty that basket and then crawl after all of the escape balls. You also love wheels...you enjoy spinning them and just watching them go round and round. I am truly amazed at the way your brain thinks regarding toys versus the girls. It's definitely cheap entertainment.
You are still not a big eater these days, but you do seem to like table food a lot more than bottles. It is sometimes a struggle to get you to eat 4 ounces at a feeding most days, but you will scarf down a cracker in no time flat. You also love pinto beans, green beans, and little strips of chicken. You still eat a good amount of your banana oatmeal each morning, and you always love to sit and eat what everyone else is eating at dinner. I see the days of baby food jars quickly leaving us, as you would rather eat what we are eating...I don't blame you. I do love our family of 5 being able to sit at the dinner table together. I hope we continue that family time as long as we are able.
My little Nathan, this month has been a great one. I enjoy seeing the everyday blessings that God has given you...and given us. This next month is busy with more tests, more Dr. visits, more pain...but also more love, more laughter, and more happiness. I am constantly amazed at your bright attitude and happy spirit through all that you have had to endure in your short life. God has blessed you, my son. And God continues to bless. That, I can assure you.
I love you, my precious boy.