Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Be strong

"Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9

This is the verse that my pediatrician shared with me yesterday morning. She said that she read this verse during her early morning devotion yesterday and thought of our family. She also said that our family was so heavy on her heart when she read this that she fully intended to call me sometime throughout the day and share this verse with me. That is why she got emotional when she saw Nathan's name on her schedule for a morning appt, totally not expecting to see us at all that day. We had an amazing conversation, and I thanked her for this wonderful reminder of God's mercy.

You see, I needed this verse yesterday in a way that she was not aware of at all, and I am ever so thankful that God would use this precious woman to remind me that He is with us through everything. Being "strong" and "courageous" are easy attributes to achieve at times...but after a while, it is easy to loose your strength and courage and return to a fearful state day in and day out. This is the state of mind I have had lately. I'm tired and frustrated and weak and scared. After over a year of awful news over and over again, I seem to be a little shell-shocked that the rug is going to be pulled out from under us once again very soon. It consumes my thoughts some days. It's exhausting and emotionally draining. It makes me extremely fearful, and in that fear, I lose sight of God.

Yesterday was a wonderful wake up call. The words of that verse are very sweet to me right now. "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."

Not only did our pediatrician not know how much of an impact that verse would have on me during this time, but she also had no idea that my heart has been very heavy for my sister and neice this week. Hailey has been inpatient in the hospital since yesterday, and I want so deeply to be able to pick everything up and be there for my sister. But to realize that God is with them "whithersoever thou goest" is a thought that brings me to tears. What an amazing thought!Hailey (my niece) had a heart cath this morning and did very well. She has a very large hole in the upper part of her heart that is causing excessive blood flow to her lungs, and she has numerous tiny holes in the lower part of her heart that are also causing additonal strain on her lungs. The plan right now is to perform surgery in 2-4 weeks to repair the large hole in hope that the smaller holes will start to close up on their own. The cardiologist is fairly confident that Hailey will have a 75%-90% improvement in her health once the large hole is surgically closed.The little sweetheart is having surgery tomorrow to have a g-tube inserted, so please continue to keep her in your prayers.


Amanda on April 14, 2009 at 10:35 PM said...

This verse is very dear to my heart also. It is so hard to be strong sometimes, especially when it comes to our children. I think of you often Amber, that this road y'all are traveling must get awfuly long and lonely at times.

I will definitly keep little Hailey in my prayers tomorrow, I hope everything goes well. You have a very beautiful niece!
p.s. loved the fish post! emma is almost hard to look at she is so darn cute in overalls and pig tails!!!!

Katie on April 15, 2009 at 8:05 AM said...

God is so good. He is always quick to give us a promise of hope when He knows we are at the end of our rope. I SO didn't mean to rhyme there. :)

~sydney~ on April 15, 2009 at 12:37 PM said...

Please let your sister know that we are praying for baby Hailey along her journey. We love you all and are praying for your family, as well.

Kim and Asa on April 15, 2009 at 9:22 PM said...

I needed that verse too! I'm finding myself in that same place! I rediscovered this verse as well

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

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