Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Inside the brain of a lunatic...


Scene: Morning. Central Florida. Concrete-style housing. Mother cleaning the kitchen. Preschool-aged girl making a mess of the other side of the kitchen so that mom gets exasperated when she has cleaned section A of kitchen only to learn that section B needs cleaning as well. Everyday occurrence. Makes mother one step closer to the crazy bin each day... Toddler boy in bed because he is Mr. cranky pants and is quarantine to the bed until he can change his attitude and rejoin making a mess of the house with his sister...

So, we heard two huge booms. And by "boom", you can not clearly understand that term unless you heard them yourself. I mean "concrete house shaking/heart palpitating" booms here. They were more than intense. They were insanely loud booms. And hence goes the thought process of a lunatic...

First, frozen in my tracks, I instantly thought of the woods next to our house. For the past year+, there have been neighborhood teens in and out of these woods. With neighborly curiosity, I peer out of my windows at them. My theory: "up to no goodness whatsoever"...specifically, a meth lab...right in our side yard of woods. Yep, that's my theory, and I'm stickin' to it.

So, in light of my "meth lab theory", I instantly thought the booms meant that it had totally exploded. Only, looking out my windows, I saw no smoke. Next thought...

Our neighbor has been having a really tough time. Not to go into much detail, the man has every right to be depressed. Second thought regarding the boom related to him in a horrible state. Wait, wait...

Somewhere about now, Emma asked to play outside. However, I banned her from the outdoors and locked every lock in every door in the house lest there be some mad man on the prowl shooting everyone in his path. Those were some loud booms...gunshot??? You can never be too careful. It's a dangerous world out there.

Okay, onto seemingly depressed neighbor...in fear that he had "taken matters into his own hands", I had to see if I could view any evidence of my suspicions. While climbing onto Nathan's top bunk of his bed (which was no small feat since the ladder was not up), I wondered what I should do if I saw anything indicative of foul play. Should I call 911? Should I call my husband? I've never been in such a situation. I reached the top bunk and sneakily peeked between the blinds at the neighbor's house to look for any clear signs...blood splatter, weapon, crazy man dancing in the backyard? Nothing. And that is when I saw it...the neighbor. He was...watching TV. Hmmmm.

Square one.

What could that horrific sound been? A tree? A car backfiring? A propane tank exploding? An airplane crashing into the next neighborhood? Yeah...that has to be it. I turned on the local news to see if any earth shattering news had made our local town's news...nothing...just the regular programming. Hmmmm.

Logging onto facebook gave me the answer as someone commented on the sonic boom being so loud. Googling "sonic boom" provided me with answers that the shuttle was entering our atmosphere this morning and would provide us with two sonic booms since we were in the shuttle's path home. Ohhhhhhhh...

I still think the exploding meth lab beside our house would have been a better story, but whatevah...

My husband says I'm nuts...I say that I am just a girl who has been tainted by society...

10 comments:

Roeh Family Update on April 20, 2010 at 10:21 PM said...

CRACK ME UP! Too funny:)

Joy Roeh

Jill on April 20, 2010 at 11:46 PM said...

Reminds me of the time the sheriff's deputy went running through the yard of the house we were renting in D'ville... Ended up he was chasing a runaway emu... You're meth lab/space shuttle story is WAY better!! :-)

Heidi on April 21, 2010 at 12:27 AM said...

That photo is priceless! LOL. Funny the boom didnt seem to excite your depressed neighbor any! He must be depressed. hugs to little Nate--
Heidi & Jack.

Amanda on April 21, 2010 at 7:38 AM said...

I agree, meth lab much better story! Thanks for the early morning laugh, I laughed out loud more than once and the picture got a couple of those laughs :)

MamaHam on April 21, 2010 at 1:08 PM said...

Oh my gosh, my stomach is hurting from laughing...just what I needed :)

Ceridwen on April 21, 2010 at 2:19 PM said...

We had one of those a few years ago and I thought we were being bombed. At least you had more realistic ideas.

Melody on April 21, 2010 at 3:09 PM said...

OMGoodness the pic just makes the story even 10x better! Too funny! Hope Nate is feeling better today. Hugs...

Lisa on April 22, 2010 at 12:42 AM said...

Oh my, I would have moved everyone to the bathtub, called husband, decided that Jesus was coming back, and figure out how to get all the animals in the tub with us!!

We live in a rural area, but we have military jets go over periodically. I actually ducked once when I heard the noise.

Too funny!

Lisa Q

Anonymous said...

You ain't right! I tell ya...you could make millions!
Nina

Cheryl and Bricen on April 22, 2010 at 9:23 PM said...

The story and photo both are too funny!!

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