Saturday, October 16, 2010

Houston Bound


Nathan and I are headed to Houston early Monday morning. This is our every-6-month recap of appointments in the mito clinic out there, and we are looking forward to the week. We will have the wonderful opportunity to visit with old friends and new ones. Nate is finally old enough to realize that he will be flying on an airplane and is so excited about that...but directly after his excitement waned, he made sure to tell me "I not want to be hurt" in talks about his upcoming trip.
Conversations of his anxiety of pain are fairly new to us...meaning, we have only heard of him talking about this in the past week. I had an appointment with one of my doctors this week that Nathan had to attend, and the first words out of his mouth while entering into the waiting room was "I not want to be hurt". I assured him that this appointment was for me and not him, but he repeated the phrase in the nurses station and exam room.
As a mother, we do everything we can to keep our children from pain. We baby proof our houses, intervene in childhood disputes, reign them in as they climb too high on various objects, even try to intervene in friendship/relationship issues...we hate to see our children in any kind of pain, both physically and emotionally. It hurts my heart to know that Nathan fears pain. And it hurts even more to know that it is inevitable in his life...even more than his sister's lives. He will hurt...even more than the belly and muscle pain that he complains of on a daily basis...he will endure more needle sticks, pokes, prods, and tests than most suffer from in a lifetime. There is no way around it. Unfortunately, this encompasses his life.
As parents, we are instructed to guide our children in the ways they are to go. That becomes a bit harder when so much pain encompasses their lives. We then teach them to be hearty...brave...strong...resilient. But that is difficult to watch...and we secretly ask that their pain be inflicted upon us instead of them. What I wouldn't give to encompass the physical pain Nathan has daily onto my own body...as a mother, it hurts like nothing I can describe to see him in pain.
But that can't happen. This is his life. This is our life. This is our journey. Our journey that God has set for us to trek. And during this journey, I will try my hardest to teach my children to go in the ways God teaches and has shown to us. God has given us the incredible foresight to enjoy and love every single moment together...to wrap our arms around our children, to kiss, to laugh, to look into each other's eyes, to touch, to be thankful for all of this...God has given us the ability to excessively enjoy every single moment. This...is a blessing like none other.

9 comments:

Missy on October 16, 2010 at 9:44 PM said...

Can't wait to see you! Your room is ready in the Knight Motel. And, I'll hook you up with some Emla cream before the needle stick!

See you Monday!

Amber on October 16, 2010 at 9:47 PM said...

I can't wait, Missy!! A few nights in the Knight Motel seem lovely. :) And if you already have emla cream ready, I won't have to pack mine. :) See you Monday!

Tara on October 16, 2010 at 10:24 PM said...

Praying for a safe trip for you and little man. Can't wait to hear about your trip. Nate couldn't have a better more loving Mother than you!

Alison on October 16, 2010 at 11:08 PM said...

Hoping the trip goes well and the flight is uneventful. Blessings to you as you go.

Colton's Journey on October 16, 2010 at 11:17 PM said...

safe travels!

Heidi on October 17, 2010 at 5:36 AM said...

I can totally relate to this post, its hard seeing them get stuck so many times. Praying his appts go smoothly, give Missy a hug from Jack and I, hugs and prayers always--
Heidi & Jack.

Leigh, Tucker's Mom on October 17, 2010 at 11:10 PM said...

Oh Amber,
It looks like we will miss you guys by one week, as we are staying in the Knight motel the next Monday night:)
I agree, it's so hard to see them in pain, and I hate that Tucker really understands what is going to happen as soon as he sees the Hermann lab!
We will use some Emla cream as well, I guess, have a safe trip!
Leigh

Allyson/HBMomof2 on October 19, 2010 at 11:32 PM said...

This was beautifully written about your child's pain and your family's walk in this life. Your love and faith are apparent. I hope your trip goes well and will be praying for you.

Kara on October 22, 2010 at 9:03 AM said...

As a mom, I can't stand to see my child hurt. But also as a mom, I can't stand to see another mom watch their child hurt because I know how deeply it cuts! Praying for you and your family, especially for Nate that he has to endure as few hurts as possible in his lifetime.

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