Jay's parents were visiting last week, so we decided to take them to Paynes Prairie just south of town because we have been told numerous times that it is a really neat adventure. But of course! Who doesn't love the adventure of walking amongst hundreds of wild alligators while trying so desperately to keep small children under foot lest these monster creatures jump out of the bushes and eat them in one bite like a chocolate chip cookie. Because that could so happen. And I'm really not kidding.
Paynes Prairie is a ginormous sink hole south of town where there are literally hundreds of gators, bison, wild horses and cows, along with really beautiful birds and mosquitoes and ticks and snakes with deadly juicy fangs and other creatures who would be more than happy to eat a human or three. Its definitely the hit place in town. Why not take out of state guests to showcase the real side of living in the swamp?
Look kids...a field trip! Go...run...enjoy the outdoorsy atmosphere. But also keep an eye out for rustling of the grass beside you, lest it be Bigfoot. Oh, and make sure you keep your eyes peeled ahead of you...you know, so you won't run into that gator as big as your father crossing your path. Kidding, I am not. It almost ate my middle-un and her grandmother too. Big scary fangs dripping with the blood of its last victim and beady red eyes narrowed in on the two unsuspecting ones enjoying the scenic route of the prairie. Little did they know that evil was directly in front of them, ready to pounce and huff and puff and blowwwwww their houses down.
Okay, well maybe that is stretching it a bit, but a gator totally did walk right in front of Em and my mother in law. I bet it licked its chompers as well, but I didn't actually witness it. I just suspect that is what gators do when they meet victims that can be swallowed in one easy bite.
I forgot the little guy's cooling vest, and with it already being 400 degrees these days, he obviously didn't last long. Since his temperature regulation seems to resemble that of his cold-blooded predators, I decided that I would cool him down by dipping him head-first into the water a few times. However, my incredible wisdom kicked in at the last second when I realized that the gators circling us had to be covered in germs from their own feces-infested water...germs that may cause pink eye or encephalitis or those disgusting brain-eating worms that you only see on the Discovery channel. Instead of subjecting my little tyke to that type of danger, the guys decided to head back in search of some shade and coolish-hot breeze while we brave and unrelenting women headed further into the prairie.
It was a fun adventure for the short time we were there. We can NOT wait to go back...because we obviously love living on the edge of danger in our own backyard. Or we're crazy. Maybe both. Or maybe just crazy.