At that point in the overwhelming information and emotional overload of the new medical world we had entered, I was horribly frightened that Nathan would suffer through the durations of his life with the frailties of his body. As parents, we automatically want to protect our children from the pain and sufferings in this world, and it was excruciating knowing that I could not protect my son from his genetic flaw. But what I didn't know then was that my views and expectations of the "suffering with a disease" I had imagined were skewed by fear. Yes, Nathan's life is different. His body does not work like it should, he lives with daily pain and discomfort, and he is not able to keep up with kids his age...but, he is not suffering. He is living...and living happily, joyfully, and full of zeal and laughter and enjoyment. Simply put, his life is amazing. That was something I could not foresee during those grueling first few weeks of his life when everything looked so grim.
And in response, God spoke to my heart through his word with instructions to trust him: "O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him." Psalm 34:8, to know that he was always in control: "the Lord is in his holy temple: let all the earth keep silence before him.” Habakkuk 2:20, and to give him honor and praise and gratitude, even through the hardest of trials: "O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever." Psalm 107:1
I am thankful for today...that I can kiss my husband when he gets home from work each day and hug my girls before they walk into school. I am thankful that we have been given the gift of not taking these precious years together for granted. And I am thankful for the little fingers that still wrap around my hand, for the little brown eyes framed in beautifully long eyelashes peering into my own eyes, for that coarse, brown hair that I love to run my fingers through, for that smell...however metabolically smelly it may be at the time, for the sword and gun fights, and for the belly laughs that I can't get enough of hearing. I am thankful that God knows the course our lives will take and how to prepare us along the way. I am thankful for the knowledge that God is on his throne and forever in control.
"O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever." Psalm 107:1