I could barely control the shaking in my arms from the muscle fatigue of helping hold down a strong little 2 year old guy who holds a special place in my heart. It was the team's second attempt at trying to get an arterial blood gas needed to determine how this sweet boy's breathing difficulties were affecting his body.
The needle snaked in and out of the corner of his wrist, searching diligently for the pulsing artery, as the exhausted little guy hoarsely cried "Owie! Owie!" and tried to wrangle out of what must have seemed like torture to him. It was heart wrenching to witness, as we tried so desperately to hold him down and keep him as still as possible.
It was during this time that his dear mother rested her head against her son's body and closed her eyes. From experience, I could tell that she was silently praying...begging God for mercy and grace on behalf of her son. It took everything in me to swallow back the ball of emotion building in my throat, for even though I did not hear this mother's prayer, I knew what she was saying.
Several painful memories flooded my mind of times when I was doing the exact thing...during my own son's arterial blood gases, numerous failures of trying to get an IV started, times when he was in so much pain that all he could do was shake uncontrollably. It was during these times that I would silently beg God..."Take this pain away from him. Direct their hands to find the right spot. Be with my son. Hold him close to you. Please let all of this be over soon."
There are times when you feel so helpless. As a mother, we are hard-wired to want to fix it when our children hurt. So having to stand by and watch your child endure intense pain that you can not immediately resolve is one of the hardest things we must do.
Keep Nate's little mito friend, Sammy, in your prayers. He's a precious soul who has touched my heart over and over again. While doing very well lately, he has had a recent set back and is in the hospital for a bit. His mom is one of the kindest and strongest people I know, and I am so happy to call her a friend.